10 things I learnt in 2017
1) My analytical and rational mind makes its own way into the equation. It is my intuition, feelings and inspiration I need to invite in. It is not one nor other, all is important
2) As lonely as the outsider position can feel, it can be a useful vantage point, and facilitates not getting sucked into drama or complicity and losing sight of the bigger field. The value of holding space for myself. Different, and also relates to the value of holding space for dissenting voices - own and others
3) It is a privilege to not have to see life through the lens of race. And a powerful reminder to first see things through the lens of others before offering your own perspective
4) To get engaged without having it all figured out upfront. Such as working out loud - publishing blogs that are not fully baked for the sake of learning. Like collaboration and experimentation, it is about willingness and your stake more than agreement about exact path forward; you will figure it out - alone or together.
5) Get clear on who I want to be in certain situations. From that what to do and say flows. And what I do and say often matters less than I think, and less than who I am being in it all. Whether I have the answers or not, getting lost in the task has me risking my humanity and lapsing into 'let's do this' transactionality.
6) Mindset trumps making time. Stuff really gets done when I am in the right energy. Looking after my sleep, diet, and exercise patterns and connecting with what I want to create is really important. Self-doubt holds me back more than anything
7) I spend a lot of time organising how I spend my time. The upside is this re-evaluation and reminding helps with being intentional. Persistence has also paid off with some of the things that lingered a while on my to-do list. Where I put my attention is indeed where my energy has gone and stuff happened - attention > energy > stuff happens. And it also has me fretting about not using it well. And working most days.
8) To grow in the direction I want to go. And that I do a lot of learning-development work! - Systems Practice MOOC, Worldwork in Greece, CTI Leadership Assisting, Constellation community facilitation and Leadwise Self-Management course were some of the learning experiences I chose to participate in outside of paid work experiences. And I spend nearly as much time volunteering/working pro bono as generating revenue and find it very rewarding in terms of what I learn and the opportunities it affords. My path has been very windy and only in retrospect can I sometimes see how the hurdles and twists have been the (at the time less than obvious) opportunities needed to advance. Main thing is not to get stuck with what sucks
9) I am not good with ambiguity when it comes to my relationships, my planning... As much as I am good to work in ambiguous situations, and love to see what wants to emerge and not have everything predictable and controlled, and despite knowing that it is in the unknown where the magic gets created, I noticed I have a tendency to want to pin things down and create a - knowingly false - sense of certainty in my personal life [Perhaps the need for self-determination]. This can have me simply making a choice that I am pretty open to reversing so I have something to work with in interim, &/or 'poking the universe' to get some kind of reaction. It can become a source of internal drama creation that zaps my attention
10) Rewriting relationship patterns is work. Be prepared for the loops, denials and relapses. As well as the rewards of a healthier relationship and personal growth. This is true with others and with self. And relationship is context and very defining of all that happens in it
Some of these things I learnt before (sigh). However, 2017 had me bump up against these learning edges experientially and reminds me of the flavour of the year and what not to lose sight of moving forward ;)